Parents often share in therapy, "My kid won’t stop scrolling. How can I get them off social media?"

Or an adult client will share, “I’m addicted to my phone. I don’t know how to stop scrolling.”

As time moves forward, our world is becoming more and more connected through social media. One article shared that most millennials and GenZers now use social media to search and shop more than Google search, based on Google’s own user data!

The question is no longer, “How can I get my kid/myself off of social media?” Instead, I suggest that my clients ask, “Why am I spending so much time on social media? For what reason?”

Exploring the “why” behind our social media use will often lead to deeper conversations than, “Get off social media!” or “You’re scrolling too much!” And connecting (with yourself, your child/student, your spouse, as a family) starts with crucial conversation and intentional questions.

I also encourage parents to realize the positives of social media for today’s younger generation. Social media isn’t all bad. It’s the ways in which we can use (and abuse) social media that can make it harmful.

In the way that one person goes to social media for community, cooking tips, and positive encouragement, another person could be scrolling harmful accounts with damaging messages, comparing themselves to friends (and strangers across the world), numbing out for hours on end, and harming their mental health. Again, it’s all about our “why” and intention behind our social media usage.

Takeaway: Social media isn’t all bad. Social media can be positive for adults and adolescents, if used intentionally and mindfully.

Creating a Social Media Mission Statement

An activity that I encourage for all clients - meaning, any client of any age who is on social media or has any type of social media account - is to create a “Social Media Mission Statement.” This can be done individually and as a family.

Simply put, a Social Media Mission Statement is a formal, written summary of your reasons, goals, and hopeful outcomes for having a social media presence.

You could also create separate mission statements for separate social media platforms. For example, your reasons for being on TikTok may differ from your reasons for being on SnapChat, or YouTube. One may be for entertainment and laughs, the other to connect with friends at your school, and the other to learn about fly-fishing techniques (if you’re into that).

Before you start, consider these questions:

What social channels feel draining to you? Which fill you up?
What social accounts do you have? Which platforms are you engaged on the most often? And why?
How do you want to feel when on social media, and when you click away from social media? Drained, envious, numb? Filled, energized, inspired?
What accounts (or types of accounts) do you love following and engaging with? Which accounts drain your energy, make you feel bad, or lead to comparison and negativity?
What problems do your social media accounts help you solve? Connecting with friends easier, staying up to date on the news, shopping, learning fly-fishing techniques?
What is your reason or purpose for being on each social media platform or channel?
How much time would you ideally like to section off for social media, before you feel like it’s enough?

Now that you’ve explored these questions, alone or as a family, you’re ready to write down some mission statements! Here is a model you can follow:

I’m on [social media channel] to [summary of your purpose for being there], which leads to me feeling [hopeful outcome of using social media].

It might read like this (which is similar to my personal Instagram Social Media Mission Statement):

I’m on Instagram to inspire others to not let their anxiety get the best of them, to share inspirational quotes and funny memes that make people feel connected (and sometimes make them laugh), to start meaningful conversations around anxiety and mental healthcare, and to support and connect with my friends and other like-minded individuals by engaging with their content and posts…. which leads to me feeling connected, inspired, and engaged in my online community.

Note that I’ve been very specific with my Instagram Mission Statement, and it’s even partially written in my Instagram bio, which states, “sharing mental health tips for anxious achievers.” When people visit my social media, they know why I’m there. And I know why I’m there.

Another part of my overall Social Media Mission Statement is that:

I’m on Social Media platforms to learn new things (i.e. why I go on YouTube!), connect with inspirational people who I can learn from, and share and create more than I consume.

My goal is to use “social” media to its fullest potential… to be social, to create and share, to learn new things, and to meet cool people. I leave social media feeling encouraged, and if I don’t, I reevalute, unfollow accounts, or re-vamp my mission statement.

The ultimate purpose of intentional conversation around social media with yourself, your kids or students, spouse, and family is to explore your values. It’s not to make blanket statements like, “Social Media is bad!” But to explore the “why” behind some of the negative sides of social media, especially if you feel negatively impacted by social media. Are you scrolling with no real intention? Consuming negative content and comparing yourself? Why?

How can you establish healthier boundaries, and a healthier relationship with social media? Dig in. Get creative. Have fun.

This blog post was written by Nicole Thaxton, PhD, LPC, NCC, CPCS.

Here at Atlanta Wellness Collective, we want to help. To talk to someone or schedule an appointment, contact us or request an appointment today.

Disclaimer: This blog is not intended to substitute professional therapeutic advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about your health concerns and before starting or stopping therapies. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct professional advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.

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