Building Dependability in Yourself - Part 1: Understanding Why Motivation Can Fade
Many individuals seek counseling because they are feeling frustrated with themselves.
Clients often share:
“I know what I should be doing, but I can’t get myself to do it.”
“I am so overwhelmed and can’t make myself focus.”
“I have high expectations for myself, but feel paralyzed trying to get things done.”
“I keep starting new projects and am disappointed that I never finish.”
“I feel lazy and I hate that about myself.”
It is important to acknowledge that often what we call “laziness” isn’t actually laziness. Most of the time, it indicates that something in your mind or nervous system is discouraged, overwhelmed, overburdened, or disconnected from purpose.
Understanding why motivation can disappear is the first step toward building dependability within yourself.
Why Motivation Can Slow Down:
Protective Brain: When a task feels confusing, too big, or emotionally taxing, our brain can perceive it as a threat. Our brain’s job is to keep us safe from threats. Therefore, instead of moving forward with the task, our brain might choose avoidance instead. This may appear as procrastinating, numbing out, or scrolling. Your brain is trying to protect you from stress, not hurt you.
Paralyzing Perfectionism: Many people believe they need to do things perfectly or not at all. But perfectionism creates paralysis: If it can't be done perfectly, we delay starting. If we fall behind, we quit altogether. Motivation thrives in progress, not perfection.
Lack of Trust in Self: Your self-confidence can gradually deteriorate if you've made repeated promises to yourself and then failed to follow through. Your mind begins to ask, "Why bother? We don’t ever follow through anyways.” This can start a vicious cycle where motivation declines as self-confidence declines.
Burnout: Motivation needs energy and emotional stamina. If we are feeling stretched thin, anxious, exhausted, or dealing with repressed emotions, our brain is already expending energy just to cope. This can make everyday responsibilities feel even more challenging and difficult.
Moving Forward with Understanding
When motivation wears down, it is not a reflection of your capability or character. Rather, it is often the result of conflicting pressures from within that subtly but assuredly impact your ability to move forward. Overload, self-doubt, perfectionism, and emotional exhaustion can all impact levels of motivation. Understanding these pressures and patterns allows us to react with empathy and grace rather than frustration and self-criticism. This ultimately provides a more effective and long-lasting approach to change.
Thankfully, we don’t need to wait around or simply hope for motivation to reappear. In the next part of this series, we will focus on how to purposefully rebuild our ability to trust ourselves and sustain personal dependability.
Here at Atlanta Wellness collective, we want to help. For support contact us or schedule an appointment online
This blog post was written by Anna Worden and will be a multi-part series. Stay tuned for more!
This blog is not intended to substitute professional therapeutic advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about your health concerns and before starting or stopping therapies. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct professional advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.
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