Relational Patience: Navigating Personal Growth with Your Partner, Family, or System
"No man is an island."
We’ve all heard John Donne’s famous words, but what do they really mean—and what do they have to do with your individual therapy journey? Simply put, nobody lives in isolation. We are all part of systems: our families, friendships, workplaces, and communities. We don’t live in a vacuum; our choices, emotions, and behaviors ripple through the people around us, and theirs ripple back to us.
Like a thermostat keeping the temperature steady, systems naturally seek homeostasis—a kind of emotional “sameness” that maintains balance. On the surface, this can feel safe. However, when you’re the one making a positive change (such as learning to set boundaries, breaking old patterns, or showing up differently), homeostasis can feel like a force pulling you back to “how things have always been.”
It’s usually not malicious—it’s simply the system’s way of self-correcting to the familiar. The problem is, “familiar” isn’t always healthy. Pushing against that invisible thermostat takes persistence and patience. And when you’re the only one in your system changing, it can feel frustrating, lonely, or even hopeless.
So, how do you hold your ground while staying connected?
Patience
Change—even healthy change—brings transition, and transition often stirs anxiety. Loved ones may wonder, “What does this mean for us? Will things stay the same between us?” Give space for people to process and adapt in their own time.
Example: After starting therapy for stress, a teacher stops bringing work home at night. Her colleagues tease her for “slacking,” and her partner initially struggles with the change in routine. Rather than rushing to explain or backtrack, she stays consistent, trusting that as others see her more rested and engaged, they’ll understand.
Compassion
It’s tempting to want people to “catch up” to where you are emotionally or mentally. But each person’s growth has its own pace. Invite them in, share what you’re learning, and explain why it matters—without expecting them to respond the same way as you.
Example: A woman grieving her mother begins to set firmer boundaries with extended family to protect her energy. While she feels relief, her siblings feel distanced. She explains her reasons gently, reassuring them that this is about her healing, not rejecting them.
Communication
As you grow, your needs, boundaries, and values may shift. If this isn’t addressed, relationships can feel destabilized. Make space for honest check-ins: “Here’s something I’ve been reflecting on—how does this land with you?” These conversations can be small but regular, helping keep connection strong.
Example: A new mom starts therapy for postpartum anxiety and begins taking short walks alone. Her partner worries she’s pulling away, but when she explains that the walks help her return calmer and more present, tension turns into understanding.
Stay Rooted in Your “Why”
When pushback comes, return to why you started. Write it down. Remind yourself that growth isn’t selfish—it’s essential for your well-being.
Example: A man in recovery from alcohol misuse chooses to skip certain social gatherings. Friends say he’s “no fun anymore,” but revisiting his reasons—health, clarity, relationships—helps him stay committed without resentment.
Build Outside Support
If your immediate circle struggles to adapt, connect with friends, groups, or communities that affirm your growth. Having a safe space to be your “new self” keeps momentum going while relationships at home adjust.
Example: Someone learning assertiveness in therapy joins a local hiking group where their voice and ideas are welcomed. That encouragement strengthens their confidence to use those same skills with family and coworkers.
The bottom line: Growth comes with an adjustment phase. Hold space and compassion for the messy, in-between stages—where your new self is still meeting their familiar self—and remember: choosing something different is an act of bravery.
Here at Atlanta Wellness Collective, we want to help. For support, contact us or schedule an appointment online.
This blog post was written by Katrina Keebler.
This blog is not intended to substitute professional therapeutic advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about your health concerns and before starting or stopping therapies. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct professional advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.
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